Why I’m Single, A Happiness Challenge

Before We Begin – Story time – Don’t Interrupt My Happiness

Knock. Knock. Knock. Its 7pm.

Downstairs neighbor: “I don’t mind the music, but the cartwheels and stomping needs to stop. You’re gonna knock my chandeliers down. The ceiling’s shaking.”

Before this knock and (rude) interruption, the rap music filled the air like vegan cream whipping on top of a dark coffee. We danced energetically: my niece, Rylan, and I. We laughed and did terrible acrobatics.

On Sunday mornings, I like to light a candle, write, and chill.

On weeknights we play music. Its party time!

Utterly happy

Sunday through Saturday, I am utterly happy. This feeling is somewhat new to me. Being happy without being in a relationship is brand new. I was the type of girl who believed I needed to be in love in order to feel absolute happiness. Now that I am single, I understand that I could never find this happiness in anyone.

I love the way I think. I love the way I wake up in the morning with more energy than I went to sleep. I love the way I believe in others and most importantly, I believe in myself. I love my ambition. I love my ability to go with the flow. I love my ability to write a whole paragraph about myself and not feel conceited, but confident. 

In order to be happy and in love with myself, I needed to be single, not in love with anyone else but myself (and my daughter of course). Becoming a single mother taught me how strong I am. Sometimes it takes life changes to teach you that you are beautifully secure and able to overcome negativity and challenges in life.


This is where I am

I am Mariah Ragland, an active vegan, energetic and full of life. I have a small living area that is peaceful, yet amazingly loud. Home is peace.  Nope, I’m not “talking” to anyone or married. My time is for me and my daughter. It belongs to no one else. Heck, there’s 24 hours in a day. When I reach the point of being able to give away time freely, then I will begin to date.

I Tried

It’s not that I am so busy that I don’t have time to talk. There’s plenty of people who I attempted to pursue. When I found myself having extra time, instead of hitting people up, I took the time to do things that I loved, alone. At other times, I would get asked out on a date. I agreed, heck it was free vegan food with interesting people! But agreeing wasn’t good enough, I found myself dragging my feet to get up and go on the date. So, I didn’t go. If the date felt like a chore, there was no use in wasting my time or his.

At this point in my life, I have learned to only do things that bring me joy.

As a result, I am so joyous. Everyday, I thank God for my life, and for the precious gift of my daughter’s life. It is kind of scary to be this happy, as this is the time where things could go wrong. Sort of how dating is. Putting myself in a relationship leaves me open and vulnerable for anyone to come in and obliterate my joy. So for now, I am going to bask in the happiness and work on being the best mom possible, an outstanding blogger, and a good person.

Why I Write This – A Challenge

This blog post isn’t meant to throw it in your face how happy I am, instead its a challenge.

I challenge you to be your best self by simply loving yourself. Since I love steps, here’s the steps to complete this challenge:

Happiness challege

  1. Take time every single day to do something that you love

  2. Work on yourself by doing something that makes you better. If that’sworking out, eating better,  or dancing to loud music on a weeknight, do it!

  3. Let go of people who bring you any kind of negativity. You don’t need it. Welcome them back into your life when they have completely let go of that negative spirit, but only when it is fully removed.

  4. Love your self and know why. Remind yourself of this if and when you are sad. (See very last paragraph)

  5. Lastly, create a step for yourself that will make you ultimately happy and (this part is vital) achieve it!

This is the last thing – How to Achieve Step 4 – Its Your Turn To Be Happy

This is the last thing I will ask of you. Earlier in the blog, I wrote a paragraph that spoke on what I loved about myself. Now its your turn. What do you love about yourself? Write the paragraph like you are writing about a lover. Share this in the comments. Print it or write on a piece of paper and post it on your wall. Refer back to it when you are feeling less confident or just need a boost. Remember that God made you perfectly and that know when can love you better than yourself. You don’t have to rush into a relationship to be happy. You are enough to make yourself happy.

2 thoughts on “Why I’m Single, A Happiness Challenge”

  • Awww, I love this!!! <3
    I love myself because I am beautiful, versatile, driven, creative, and virtuous. I always see the good in people and always strive to be a light among others. I live to inspire and to make others feel good! 😀

  • I love myself because I am a black woman (and boy does that take a lot of loving), I love myself because I am smart, can be energizing to myself and to others, I am open minded, I am Beautiful. I love myself because I am Me and there’s no other like it!! I am to on a Happiness journey. No relationship with man or woman. Just Friendships to be formed over new activities that I’d like to Try and things I already know myself to Love. I’ll be taking the time to grow my natural out and love the beautiful melanin skin I am in 🖤 thank you for the post !

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