Path to Enlightenment

Growinup_COLD

 

Who am I?

According to society I would have to tell you about the physical forms I associate with; I am an aspiring professional makeup artist of 2 years, single mother of 2, along with a passion for cooking that lands me in the culinary field at the present moment.

Makeup contributes to my creativity. I am still new to the perfection of the makeup artistry and of course will love to cover a few topics including beauty brand reviews on my new journey of blogging so stay tuned.

Motherhood

As a young mother of 2 boys not even a full year apart in age, life has been difficult to

My Son
King(Left) Kal-el(Right)

provide for them. I love my babies to the moon and back and honestly believe God sent them in my life to make up for the lack of love I received as a child. King and Kal-el (AKA Batman and Superman) are my true saviors.

If it was not for my children forcing me to be responsible and see life as valuable as I see them I probably would have never began to value myself. Value was simply something I was not conformed to associate myself with unfortunately. I invite my readers to allow them see how self exploration works and what it is truly like to rise from negative to positive; a journey I am still adventuring on. Subscribe and expect to learn that you are not the only one struggling with raising your own frequency. As a mother I do not want to put out the same karmic generational curses that has occurred in the past. Join me in understanding the true fears of motherhood in todays American society. All can relate. Parenting is universal.

Healing Inwardly

This year I have dove head first into the culinary field as a long time fan of the FoodNetwork channel. Working in a kitchen under amazing chefs has truly opened up a new worldly perspective about food and the process of cooking as science. My new-found love of working in fast paced restaurants has me thinking about everything we truly allow in our body as “Nourishment.”

Recently, I have been experimenting with a no meat diet that would make me identify as a “pescetarian” because I still consume seafood and animal by products such as eggs and milk. Being extremely new to this lifestyle I still have a goal of going completely vegan due to research I have been discovering about the many downsides of todays American Diet. Living a long healthy and balanced life; mentally, emotionally, and physically are my core desires. The diet we as people adapt is the defining factor of our overall health. I will definitely be sharing further research as to why I am slowly changing my diet as well as the struggles I find myself in with craving so be sure to subscribe for more.

Who I Was?

This may be a shock to some, but formerly I was an erotic dancer, yes: stripper. Because of societal standards I kept this a secret from my professional life for the most part. I did not want my bosses or co-workers at my regular 9-5 (which I have always had a side job no matter what) judging me based off of such pessimistic perceptions.

Starting off in my hometown of Knoxville, TN,  I was one of the very few black dancers of my city and eventually was fed up with the blatant racism and mistreatment I endured in a southern town. It is far too much  injustice in the sex life industry that you can not imagine. Eventually I converted to traveling while dancing only on the weekends and subtle living with my babies during the week. Atlanta, Charlotte, Nashville, and Lexington, KY pretty much became my stomping grounds for almost 2 years.

@Growinup_COLD in sexy dance wear.
Atlanta: Stripper Capital of America

The sex worker lifestyle taught me a lot of which life did not teach me early on and of which life was not going to teach me quickly and easily; and a girl like me always has to learn the hard way. Nevertheless, after 3 years I had to get out of that lifestyle for various reasons.  Be sure to subscribe and watch out for updates because I have a lot of tea to spill and stories to tell that originate from that background.

The lifestyle of  a stripper and better yet a traveling stripper is one that can tear you down yet build you up in so many ways. It has broadened my mind and gave me great insights of what the world as whole is truly like. You become a people watcher in the industry and all I can say is the majority of people AIN’T SHIT (PERIOD.)  Not referring to just the dancers, although many of the ones I know are considered ruthless. People in general, however, are extremely complicated and unfortunately choose to be vile. Just stay tuned because I can not even began to get into the details of that lifestyle just yet. Essentially I been there, done that, and it is what it is. Dancing helped me provide for my children when no one else would step up to their responsibilities and be of aid to me. (Shrugs)

Tupac Aint Dead!

Have a conversation with me today  and you will get the modern-day Tupac because I can not conform to society no matter what I do. I feel as if I am literally not meant to fit in. Even as a dancer I had to manipulate myself with tons of alcohol to do the job right. I am weird, dorky, cool, sexy, exotic, opinionated, shy, introverted, extraverted, aggressively passionate, and a glorious damsel in distress all in one.

The modern renaissance woman, I should say; working and learning not to be afraid of herself and her potential. Enlightenment, creative ideas and an urgency for more has always driven me to never give up and embrace change. I appreciate life even more these days after all that I have been through and I am grateful of the mindset I am blossoming to be. While always having multiple hustles I ended up having multiple lives towards different sets of familiars. However, my intentions are always honest and positive and my edge gives me flare especially when understanding people while learning to unravel my own spirit and understandings.

To get to know me you must be open-minded and refrain from trying to sum me up. Because just like Tupac, “I refuse to be a Role Model. I set goals, take control, drink out my own bottle. I make mistakes but learn from every one. And when it’s said and done, I bet this brother be a better one. If I upset you don’t stress; never forget, that God isn’t finished with me yet.”. (Ghetto Gospel, Tupac, 2004)

Sensei

2014 Before Life truly Began

I am on a spiritual journey of higher frequency and enlightenment. This journey has me digging into my past and meditating for my future. I read more these days and I have been studying the history of my Black American ancestors.

I need to know why is society conformed to be the way it is? Why have I thought and acted in ways I felt I had no true control of? Why does there seem to be more drama, more negativity amongst the youth, self-hate, self-destruction, and even great violence in our communities? Why does so many people isolate instead of unite?

We as an united community can begin to reverse the psychological holds our society place on our minds and future generations. I know it is meant for me to be apart of that process. I want to become the superhero that I needed long ago from others. Day by day and step by step I will try my best at just that; Work towards enlightenment and  shine light on the path for others to follow.

As a writer I will ask a lot of questions that pertain to the negative realities Black Americans face every day. Currently I am researching about the spiritual uplifting of American culture and especially Black American Culture.  As an black woman I have witnessed life from a particular perspective not told or understood by everyday people. Life wishes to condition me to not have a voice and I refuse for that to be my reality. 

“Black women voices matter no matter what form of life they come from!”

I aim to break down the barriers society deems us to be apart; i.e. the angry black woman. Black women are the least worried about to overall society, yet we are the backbone of life itself. We are unprotected, unguided and mostly never taken serious.  Everything we think and challenge has to be scowled upon. 

I have nothing but wisdom to gain and much thought and experience to be heard about now. I wish to explore how far my thoughts may go on paper and hope to learn and experience great debate about many social issues, while also celebrating positivity and inner growth. 

For someone who has never fit in, I hope to reach out to those that may feel the same. I simple do not have the systematic thoughts of an average American; or African American. I am a beautiful adventure, I am Kanada Akira Sensei.



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